Tips for keeping safe
Oxfordshire Domestic Abuse Service (ODAS)
If you or someone you know is currently experiencing or has experienced abuse from a partner, ex-partner or family member in Oxfordshire you can speak to us.
The Oxfordshire Domestic Abuse Service provided by a2dominion, has trained staff who are able to offer confidential and practical advice so victim-survivors and their children can access what they need to rebuild their lives. This may start with a conversation to help people understand their options.
This may involve
- support in accessing a refuge (temporary accommodation out of the area where victims and their children will be safely housed and receive specialist support to recover from domestic abuse)
- outreach support in the local community
- 1:1 support and advice
- support for children and young people and group work
Be prepared
Some of the ways you can keep safer, include:
- teaching your children how to phone for help
- trying to avoid risk areas in your home when you feel the situation is escalating
- thinking through how you can get to a safe place if an incident feels imminent
- things to consider keeping together in a safe place so if you need to flee in an emergency
Packing an emergency bag
It can be helpful to keep together some essential items for if you need to flee in an emergency, if it is safe for you to do so and you are able to find a safe place these can be stored (for example at a neighbour, or friend's house). Items it may be helpful to include could be:
- emergency numbers
- phone and phone charger
- money
- clothes
- house keys and car keys
- important documents such as your:
- marriage certificate
- birth certificate(s)
- court orders
- mortgage/tenancy documents
- passport
- National Insurance Number
- driving licence
- benefit and bank books
- health record(s)
- Essential medicines for you, your children (and pets, if possible)
Finding a safe place to stay
It may be that fleeing to a friend or family member's home is a safe option for you, but this will depend on whether your abuser knows where you are likely to go. If this isn't safe for you, there are safe houses (called refuges) where you can go, and you can also access help to find safe accommodation - information can be found on our housing advice page.
Covering your tracks
If your abuser is tracking your movements or likely to be checking your phone or internet history, try to use a friend’s phone to make arrangements to leave, or buy a cheap pre-paid phone ('burner phone'); delete your website searches and search history, and be aware of geo-location settings on your phone.
The tech abuse page on the Refuge website has lots of helpful information to inform you about potential ways in which technology may be used to monitor your movements and has lots of useful resources.
For someone experiencing domestic abuse, it can feel like every aspect of your world is controlled and the online world is no different. Devices such as smartphones and tablets can be misused to stalk, harass, impersonate, and threaten including being used to carry out financial abuse through banking websites and apps.
Some things to consider include:
- change user names and passwords (if safe to do so), even if you don't think the accounts have been compromised, to strong passwords which your abuser will not be able to guess
- update security settings on social media so that only the people you want to connect with can see your posts, photos and information
- be aware of location settings. Lots of apps and software record information about your geographical location and consider turning off tracking apps when not in use like GPS fitness trackers, sat nav (please be aware of any increased risks as a result of doing this, for example, the abuser then turning up in person)
- consider any connected or joint accounts that may have been installed on more than one device and could give someone access to your information, or devices like
- iTunes
- app stores
- Google Play store
- eBay
- Amazon
- Kindle and others.
- think about tech in the home. Are there any smart devices like Amazon Echo (Alexa), Google Home, a smart thermostat, house alarm system that can be accessed remotely
- secure your home WiFi network as a person may be able to access your devices via the WiFi network, which will be accessible without being in your home. Change the login details if possible
- be aware that cameras and devices can be accessed remotely or activated by apps, so consider covering the webcam on your computer or tablet when not in use.